Balik Kampung (Not Village but Hometown)

    So, sekarang aku dekat hometown aku after a long, grueling week (tak sampai seminggu pun tapi rasa macam seminggu sebab kena deal co-workers yang annoying). Dulu, aku tak suka balik hometown aku sebab ada banyak bad memories dekat sini tapi sekarang, it feels good to be away from the city and the hustle and bustle of city life for a while.

    Aku ada benda sikit nak cakap tapi aku tak berapa pasti nak cakap apa.

    First of all, semalam, crush aku ada repost kawan dia record video dia and God, he's so hot. Sadly, semalam aku terserempak dengan dia beberapa kali, dia tak cakap langsung dengan aku. Is he annoyed with me too for not talking to him? I don't know but I feel like we're both playing this stupid game of waiting who's gonna make the first move first.

    Next, I've been feeling like I'm getting farther and farther from my dreams. Contohnya, aku nak jadi copywriter tapi sekarang aku kerja dalam bidang HR. Lepas tu, aku tengah kumpul duit nak beli T-shirt Versace Goddess tu tapi setiap kali aku kumpul duit, ada je benda aku nak kena beli macam groceries, toiletries and so on.

    Benda ni buat aku rasa disorientated, hilang sense of belonging dan macam aku hilang footing dalam dunia ni. I don't know where I belong. I still wanna be a copywriter but I don't know how to get there. I also don't know what the future has in store for me and it's terrifying.

    I just hope that, after I've gone through everything, I'll find my way home.

Seriously Annoyed

    Sigh. Aku ada banyak kerja but I need to get some stuff off my chest.

    First of all, aku annoyed dengan crush aku. Ever since, he posted on his Instagram his father's sick and I DMed him (no ulterior motive whatsoever, just pure empathy), 'I pray to God to grant your father a full recovery and to give you and your family strength to go through this hard time,' I feel like he's been avoiding me. I don't know why he's acting this way towards me, I did absolutely nothing wrong but his behaviour's annoying. What made it worse, I saw he liked my colleague's picture (he hasn't liked mine at all) so it's not like he's busy or he wants to be alone. At this point, I'm like, whatever, I don't care about him any more, he can go.

    Next, some people at my workplace really grate on me. They're rude, nasty, irresponsible, unprofessional, incompetent, immature, snotty and the list can go on and on. I've been trying to stay calm and professional but I swear to God, they're really trying my patience because they think I wouldn't fight back, they think I wouldn't dare to. Well, I pray to God to make these miserable people more miserable than they already are. Also, no wonder you people look the way you people look: ugly as hell because your insides are nasty.

    Last but not least, I hate some of my batchmates, if not most. Semua pakat nak menunjuk internship diaoranglah yang paling best, yang paling happening. Yalah, internship kitaorang yang lain ni memang tak best langsung pun (I'm being sarcastic, if you can't tell). I might sound envious to some people but I'm not envious at all. I'm only envious if you own the Versace Goddess T-shirt and the Versace Repeat bag. Kelakar sebab ada orang yang buat internship dekat company yang lebih besar dan gempak daripada kau tapi tak menunjuk pun macam kau so nampak sangat kau jakun. Mungkinlah kau boleh impress sesetengah orang but I'm not impressed at all. You're a small fish in a small pond so of course you'd feel like you're a big fish. Well, try swimming in a big pond, lol.

    Ada lagi benda yang annoy aku tapi aku dah malas nak tulis. Nantilah aku tulis kalau ada mood.

A Short Update

    Aku sebenarnya dah nak kena tidur tapi aku ada benda nak tulis sikit.

    First of all, harga beg Valentino tu nak dekat RM20,000 wei. It's totally outta my price range. So, I'm just gonna stick to the Versace Repeat bag.

    Next, speaking of which, Versace released the Odissea trainers in metallic lilac.

    I'm in my purple era and this is just glorious but I'm still focusing on getting the Goddess T-shirt and the bag.

    Thirdly, aku dah mula sembang dengan crush aku dekat tempat kerja aku tu. Kitaorang tak adalah dah jadi kawan but still, it's a progress and dare I say, it's the highlight of the week.

    To be completely honest, he's one of the reaons that motivate me to go to work. Tempat kerja aku ni tak adalah seteruk kelas aku masa aku buat degree dulu tapi adalah beberapa ekor makhluk dekat situ yang buat tempat tu kurang syok.

    Last but not least, I miss some parts of my university like the library and my residence hall. I wish I could go back but this time without the assignments and the demons.

You Are So Dreamy, Feel Like I'm in the Movies

    Okay, aku baru bangun tidur sebab aku busy dan penat gila hari ni so lepas aku balik tadi, aku tertidur dan aku sebenarnya ada banyak kerja nak buat tapi aku nak tulis sikit.

    So, dekat tempat aku buat internship, ada seorang lelaki ni and he's so handsome: tinggi, sado, putih, berjambang dan ada rupa. Kali pertama aku terserempak dengan dia masa first day aku dekat situ, aku lepak dekat pantry dan dia masuk. Dia pandang aku, aku senyum dekat dia, dia jeling. Masa tu, walaupun aku annoyed, aku fikir, fahamlah dia berlagak sebab dia elok (tapi lagi elok kalau tak berlagak).

    Kali kedua aku terserempak dengan dia masa aku dekat surau. Again, dia pandang aku, aku senyum dekat dia, dia jeling. Aku macam, nohorom, dekat surau pun berlagak lagi.

    Adalah satu hari tu, masa aku nak masuk office, aku nampak dia berjalan belakang aku so aku hold pintu untuk dia dan tu kali pertama dia senyum dekat aku.

    Ever since then, aku perasan dia asyik pandang aku. Bukan aku buat cerita ye. Also, just so you know, aku kena lalu dekat meja dia nak ke meja aku.

    Adalah satu hari tu pula, aku tengah cari someone. Tiba - tiba, dia datang dekat aku dan tanya aku, aku cari siapa. Aku pun bagi tahulah dia dan dia tunjuk dekat aku. Lepas tu, bila aku nak balik ke meja aku, aku nampak dia pun nak balik ke meja dia juga. Kiranya, dia saja - sajalah datang dekat aku, bukannya dia ada kerja ke apa.

    I have to admit, lama - lama, aku mula ada crush dekat dia. So, ada satu malam tu, lepas aku balik kerja, aku stalk dia dekat social media and I found out he's already married with a kid. Aku fikir, mm, dia nak buat kawan saja kot.

    Dia still pandang aku every single time aku lalu dekat meja dia dan aku nak cakap dengan dia tapi aku tak nak nampak desperate. At the same time, aku tahu dia ada ramai peminat tapi orang tak mengaku je. Ada hari tu, aku tegur dia dan dia jadi macam gelabah, lol.

    Entahlah. Aku harap aku boleh berkawan dengan dia.

Life Update

    Aku tak tahulah ada orang baca ke tak blog ni (aku rasa tak de) tapi kali terakhir aku post bulan May dan sekarang dah bulan September. Aku bukan tak nak post, in fact, aku dah lama nak post tapi mungkin aku malas and lately, aku busy dan penat.

    Alhamdulillah, semester terakhir aku dah berakhir dan sekarang aku tengah buat internship. It still sorta feels surreal, I still sorta can't believe I completed my final year project, I'd never thought I could finish it. Outta all semesters, the final semester was probably the most challenging semester, physically and emotionally but it was also the best semester.

    I've gotta admit, I'm sorta frustrated I don't get to do my internship in advertising/copywriting which is my lifelong passion but there's nothing I can do about it so I just focus on what I've got and what I can do and I just go with the flow, I just let life take me to wherever it's going. Also, I try to be thankful for what I've got.

    Anyway, believe it or not, I've been saving my money. I haven't shopped at all, I just don't feel like going shopping. I've still been eyeing on the Versace Goddess T-shirt and the Versace Repeat bag though. I'm also saving for a car because it is so hard to go to work without a car (I've been going to work by bus), let alone to go anywhere.

    I know I need to get my priorities straight but I've set my heart on those two things. I plan to get each of them by the end of this year and by the middle of next year. I also plan to get a designer bag for my mum but I haven't decided on what bag to get for her.

PS I'm not into Valentino as much as I'm into Versace but if this Valentino bag is within my price range, I'd definitely put it before the Versace Repeat bag. I mean, just look at the colour. It is majestic.