I Just Wanna be Alone

   I've got so many things to write but I don't really feel like writing tonight so I'm just gonna write what I feel like writing.

    First of all, it's been a stressful week and I've been stressed out mainly because of people. To make matters worse, I've got no car.

    Next, my logo didn't get shortlisted, only my tagline did and I've just found out the prize isn't money but a voucher which disappoints me because I've been trying to save money (unless it's a Zara or Sephora gift card).

    This brings me to my next point and that is, I feel like I'm getting further and further from my dreams and one of them is to get the Versace Medusa boots and I want them more than anything.

    At the same time, I still want other things like the Versace Goddess T-shirt. I guess, I'm gonna have to lose some to get some, I can't have everything.

Posting from Work for the First Time!

    Yeah, ni kali pertama aku post dari tempat kerja. Aku bukan tak de kerja nak buat tapi aku tak tahu kenapa hari ni aku malas gila. There, I admit it. Anyway, ada beberapa benda aku nak cakap sikit.

    First of all, sejak trip company aku tu, crush aku tu tak cakap langsung dengan aku. Aku sedihlah but there's nothing I can do about it.

    Next, aku asyik fikir pasal boots Versace tu (aku dah lama tak cakap pasal boots tu), aku asyik fikir macam mana aku nak beli boots tu, macam mana aku nak simpan duit.

    The only way yang aku boleh fikir, aku kena berpuasa (aku boleh lose weight at the same time). Lepas tu, of course, aku naik bas instead of naik Grab. Also, aku tak boleh beli apa - apa langsung. Aku tak tahulah aku boleh buat ke tak tapi aku akan cuba sebab aku nak sangat boots tu, more than anything.

    Aku harap sangat aku akan dapat boots tu kali ni.

    Last but not least, aku annoyed dengan sesetengah orang. Okay, that's it, bye.

Metallic and Snake Print? Sign Me Up!

    Aku dah lama tak update wish list aku and just now, aku tengok wish list tu, there are a number of things I'm no longer really into because my style has evolved. I wouldn't say my style has changed since it's still the same but it's become more refined, I'd say. Anyway, nantilah aku update wish list tu bila aku ada masa dan mood.

    Anyway, there are some things I wanna talk about.

    First of all, this season's Zara is really good (it's been bad for the past few seasons). I don't know whether there's been a change in the creative direction or what brands they're copying but there are so many things I wanna buy yet I've got so little money, sigh.

    Next, Converse and Dr Martens haven't been producing good shoes but these boots are an exception.

    Out of all animal prints, my favourite animal print is snake print and I've always wanted something metallic in green, blue, yellow, pink and purple and these boots tick all the boxes so when I saw them, they instantly got into my wishlist.

    Thirdly, siang tadi, aku online window shopping sambil makan dan aku saja google Versace Hinge bag tu. Walaupun beg tu lama dan buruk, it has a profound impact on me. Surprisingly, ada orang masih resell beg tu dekat satu website ni dan masa aku tengah scroll dekat website tu, I found something that immediately reignited an old flame.

    Versace Medusa combat boots in patent leather in black, yang aku nak sejak dua tahun lepas tu.

    Aku terus click lepas tu aku baca dengan teliti. Never been worn. Size 40 IT. I'm not sure if it's my size but I don't really mind if it's not because I don't plan to wear them, for now. Harga RM3,000+++.

    This is probably gonna sound like an overreaction but I suddenly felt motivated to work and save money. They're definitely my top priority now. Aku tak tahulah aku akan sempat ke tak nak beli boots tu, aku fikir, if I get them, then they're meant for me.

    Last but not least, here's a mini wish list that I haven't merged with the old one.

    1. Versace Medusa combat boots in patent leather in black
    2. Versace Goddess oversized T-shirt in black
    3. Dr Martens Sinclair in snake print in purple
    4. Versace Repeat bag in large in purple

    Okay lah, aku dah nak tidur, esok aku nak kena bangun awal.

Colourful Indeed

    Okay, hari ni, aku ada ikut trip company aku and I had a smashing time, especially because aku dapat cakap dengan crush aku tu banyak jugalah. Mula - mula, aku menyesal gila join sebab aku kena sacrifice weekend aku but now I'm glad I went on that trip. It's definitely gonna be one of the memorable memories of my life.

    Speaking of my crush, I don't know what he considers us but I definitely don't consider us friends, only acquaintances. Aku nak berkawan dengan dia but it's hard for a number of reasons. Satu, meja dia agak jauh daripada meja aku. Dua, dia department lain dan department dia tak related sangat dengan department aku. Tiga, dia macam jual mahal jugalah dengan aku. Aku tak tahulah dia malu ke apa tapi one moment aku cakap dengan dia, the next dia buat macam tak kenal aku.

    Nevertheless, I had good, albeit short moments with him today and the pièce de résistance was when his trousers slipped down so I saw his underwear and butt so I told him about it and he said to me, 'I'm "colourful",' which made me blush for some reason, lol.

    Anyway, I hope we'll be closer and closer even though things are probably gonna return like before after this but I still hope.

    By the way, mungkin ada orang akan fikir aku bitter ke apa but I hate most of my classmates. So, tarikh convocation dah keluar dan diaorang yang tak buat kerja ni (bukan aku seorang je yang pernah kena dengan diaorang, ramai orang lain pun pernah kena dengan diaorang) pakat buat excited nak graduate. So annoying.

    Sigh, tak payah buat banggalah dengan degree atas kerja keras orang lain. Degree kau tu tak halal. Degree sampah, tak de kualiti. Aku harap sangat kau rasa balik nanti apa yang kau buat dekat kitaorang dulu. Pergi mampus.

I Hate Fakes & Dupes

    Okay, aku ada kerja nak kena buat sebelum aku tidur tapi aku ada benda nak cakap sikit dan aku dah lama nak cakap pasal ni.

    I hate fakes and dupes. Do you know what a dupe is? Dupe ni, contohnyalahkan, beg Gucci Horsebit tu tapi tak de logo Gucci dan detail Horsebit tu dia tukar sikit. Dia berbeza dengan fake yang sebiji macam beg tu.

    Apa yang buat aku nak cakap pasal ni? Aku ada follow seorang batchmate foundation course aku ni dekat Instagram. Dia ni senang jugalah. Ada satu gambar tu, dia post, dia bawa beg Louis Vuitton. Aku terkejut jugalah sebab contrary to popular belief, jarang nak jumpa beg Louis Vuitton yang asli sebab beg Louis Vuitton tak murah ye. Kalau tak percaya, boleh tengok sendiri dekat website dia. So, kalau kauorang ada nampak orang bawa beg Louis Vuitton tu, it's most probably fake.

    Anyway, masa tu, I was like, mungkin beg tu aslilah kot sebab dia senang jugalah tapi makin lama, aku makin rasa beg - beg dia fake sebab dia suka menunjuk jugalah "designer" bags dia macam Chanel, Gucci dan Miu Miu. Kalau kau tak tahu, semua beg ni mahal gila nak mampus ye so I doubt dia mampu. Kalau ada dia satu saja, aku percayalah tapi ni sampai ada satu collection dan orang - orang yang lebih kaya daripada dia, yang ada beg designer yang asli, yang aku kenal pun tak de sebanyak tu.

    Yang lagi menguatkan suspicion aku beg - beg dia fake, dia ada post story, dia minta tukang emas mana entah buat gelang macam gelang Van Cleef & Arpels.

    Sorry, aku tahu, dia tak kacau duit aku pun tapi aku memang tak boleh dengan fakes dan dupes, like, why? Kalau tak mampu, buat cara tak mampu. Ni aku bukan tujukan dekat dia seorang saja tapi dekat orang lain yang beli fakes dan dupes. Ye, aku faham, aku pun ada beg idaman juga iaitu beg Versace Repeat tu dan kalau aku ada duit, aku dah lama beli beg tu sebab harga dia turun daripada nak dekat RM9,000 jadi RM3,000 lebih tapi sebab aku tak de duit, so aku diam jelah (aku pun tak tahulah aku akan dapat ke tak beg tu).

    Frankly, it's pathetic. Dia macam, kau tak de duit tapi kau acah - acah ada duit and that's just sad. Ye, aku tahu, dekat Zara, H&M ada banyak dupes tapi aku tak pernah beli dupes.  I'll never buy fakes and dupes. Belilah yang design original walaupun brand entah apa - apa. That's much more honourable than buying fakes and dupes.

    Mungkinlah, kau boleh impress sesetengah orang but definitely not me and let me tell you something, no one cares kau pakai apa pun kalau attitude kau busuk dan lagi malu kalau orang dapat tahu kau pakai barang fake.

Thank God It's the Weekend

    Aku nak tulis something tapi aku tak tahu kenapa aku tak boleh nak tulis so I'm just gonna write whatever I feel like writing.

    Last week, I found this shirt on Zara.

    When I first saw it, I immediately knew I've gotta have it. The colours and especially the print are to die for. My size was unavailable so I had to impatiently wait for about a week, hoping my size would be restocked. So, when I saw my size came back in stock this morning, I snatched it without hesitation. I can't wait to see it in person and I hope it looks as good as it looks in the pictures.

    I'm also eyeing this T-shirt and these jeans.

    As you know, I'm in my purple era and I love this shade of purple. The distress makes it grungy which I love. It's sorta similar to the Versace Goddess T-shirt in purple.

    As for the jeans, I know I vowed I'd never, ever don a pair of straight jeans but hear me out. I've got a slim T-shirt that I've been wanting to wear but I can't because it goes horribly with skinny jeans. At first, I thought it's because of the colour but then I realised it's the fit. Also, in my defence, they're not wide-legged and I'll never commit the fashion crime of pairing them with an oversized top and a pair of boots or high-tops.

    I know, I should be saving my money, not only for the Versace Goddess T-shirt but also as an emergency fund because only God knows what's gonna happen in the future. I'm really hoping I'll win my company's contest (the first place prize is RM1,200 which is a lot).

    Sigh. Entahlah. There are so many things I wanna buy yet I've got so little money. I'm sick and tired of living like this. I blame myself and I regret for spending recklessly in the past. I wish I could have that level of financial stability where I don't have to worry about money so much.

A Silly Dilemma

     Okay, aku dah nak kena tidur sebab esok aku nak kena bangun awal tapi aku nak cakap sikit sebelum aku tidur.

    So, aku dah cakap balik dengan crush aku and it makes me happy. I'm not gonna deny, every time I see him, my day brightens up and this is gonna sound so stupid tapi aku jadi berat hati nak tinggal company ni walaupun makin lama, makin toxic sebab aku nak kena tinggal dia. I know I should do what's best for myself dan entah - entah, kalau aku stay, dia belah, lepas tu, aku terkontang - kanting seorang diri. Entahlah, we'll see what happens.