Salah satu ujian yang aku hadapi tahun ni, selain daripada kerja, ialah kawan - kawan, fake friends—to be exact.
Lepas aku berhenti kerja dekat satu company dekat Cyber hujung tahun lepas, someone who I considered a friend, terus tak balas mesej aku. Bukan dia je, ada beberapa orang lagi but I was especially disappointed in him because I thought he was a real friend. Nevertheless, I thought I was gonna be fine because I had other friends but then I lost more "friends", one by one, some left me, others, I left them, for valid reasons.
Aku mengaku, aku pun ada kekurangan, aku pun buat salah, aku pun manusia juga tapi bila aku buat silap, aku boleh mengaku dan minta maaf tapi tak ramai orang boleh mengaku dan minta maaf untuk salah silap diaorang.
I'm not perfect, I'm not the best friend, but I try to be there for my friends, through thick and thin. Sometimes, trying to be there for them, cause me troubles, but I didn't really care because I know how it feels to go through things and no one's there for you so I didn't want them to feel alone in whatever they're going through.
Nonetheless, not many people are willing to do the same for me. I used to have more friends than I do now but whenever I had to brave the storms, I still had to do it all by myself. I can't deny it, I resent them for that but still, I kept it to myself because maybe they were going through things too and they couldn't be there for me.
Am I a fool? Maybe I am, but I'd rather be a fool than a fake friend. Sometimes, I miss these fake friends, I miss going out with them, I miss making jokes and laughing with them but fake friendships can't last for ever, because, well, they're fake. I don't know if I'd ever find real friends so I imagine I'm still friends with these fake friends. In my imagination, they're not fake, they're always there for me and it helps a bit.
