I've always wanted a piece of Saint Laurent. The house, especially during Hedi Slimane-era, to me, was high punk and in my opinion, his most iconic collection was the Autumn/Winter 2013, which, the Queen of Grunge, Courtney Love, herself praised. One of the standout pieces from the collection was this powder blue cardigan.
It was quintessential grunge and it seared into my brain but I hadn't thought of it for a long time until last week, for some reason. I was like, let me see how much it is now because it was released more than ten years ago and apparently, the price is more palatable now ($400) than it used to be ($1,300). I could only find this version, brand new, in size XS, with tags, though.
I did think of getting the pullover version since I'm more of a pullover person than a cardigan person but it doesn't have a lining, only the cardigan does and to me, lining is one of the things that makes something feel luxurious and justifies the price.
So I ordered one last Thursday and unfortunately, it should be delivered to my home in my hometown (I set the delivery address to my home in my hometown because I was worried it'd be delivered to my home in Kuala Lumpur when I was away for five days) tomorrow and I'm leaving tomorrow morning. So, I wouldn't be able to look at it, touch it and try it on for quite sometime. Also, I burnt my saving and broke my promise because this year I promised to buy only three luxury items a year and it wasn't a part of this year expenses, it was an impulse purchase.
Anyway, speaking of leaving tomorrow, I don't really wanna talk about it but all I can say is, I'm leaving with a heavy heart, once again. I just hate being far away from home, especially from my mum. I wish, there was another way for me to make money, without having to be separated from my mum, so I could be with her, take care of her, spend time with her because I don't know how much time is left. I constantly feel like I'm running outta time and I'm constantly scared if something happens to her and I couldn't be there with her.
I know I've said this many times before but I really regret moving outta Cyber. Living and working in Kuala Lumpur just amplify my loneliness. I wish I had someone, to hold me tight and tell me, 'you're not alone in this, I'm with you,' so I wouldn't feel so lonely. I don't know how long I'm gonna go on like this. I'm tired. Sometimes I just wanna run away from everything.
God, please help me.
PS I've never really been into Saint Laurent bags but there's a pair of Jodhpur boots in black patent leather that I've been eyeing and I hope I'll get someday
