Aku tak tahulah orang lain buat benda ni ke tak but when I'm in the loo (preferably jamban duduk yang bersih, cerah, kering, luas, selesa dan wangi), I love to reflect my life, in my own sweet time. So, these are some of the reflections I've done today.
One, I feel sad Ramadan is coming to an end even though so many shitty things happened to me in the beginning. I don't feel like going into the details but I'm just thankful everything's been sorted out and I managed to get through it, somehow. I myself am surprised I coped better than I thought I would, I've been more spiritual this month compared to the previous months and I hope I'll be able to continue to do so. Also, I've lost a little bit of weight as well but I've still got a lot to lose.
Two, I've been anxious about my new job. I'm starting on 7 April. I really hope it won't be another trap and it won't be as toxic as my previous workplace. I just wanna work, make money, pay off my debts so I can move on to other things and focus on building a better life for myself and for my mum.
Three, I'm also thankful I don't have a crush on anyone, for now, not even Syuqran and I don't even feel like dating at the moment. It sorta feels good because I hate having my feelings crushed again and again. I do still wish I had someone to talk to.
Four, I don't look back any more, I just look forward to what life's got in store for me. I used to miss my foundation course days but I no longer do, in fact, I'm so glad I'm over it. Maybe my life's got better now, alhamdulillah, than it used to be and although there are still lotsa things to do.
PS This is probably one of the most memorable Ramadan in my life.
