I find myself drifting in the vast ocean, yet again. Just drifting, not knowing where the wave will take me, because no matter how hard I try to go against the current, I get nowhere. So, I just wait, and hope for the best.
I used to hate my hometown. Life is slow here. I wanted to live in the big city because I was and still am drawn to the city lights and the skyscrapers are ever awe-inspiring and in the night, the lights glitter like diamonds, scattered across the horizon.
'It looks like the stars have been scattered across the ground. Have you ever seen anything so full of splendor?' - Dolores Abernathy, Westworld
But behind those alluring lights and towering skyscrapers, there's ugliness too. People are cold here. When the Sky's black curtains cover the Earth and you come home from work, there's only loneliness waiting for you in the dark. Life is too hectic here too. I started to appreciate the slowness of life in my hometown.
Cyberjaya is a good balance between my hometown and Kuala Lumpur. It's not as hectic as the latter and there's still calmness of the former. I miss it terribly. I wanna go back. I wanna live and work there. I regret coming here. It was a mistake. But maybe, I wouldn't have realised what I was gonna lose if I hadn't left, and now I know.
'Maybe this phase, however murky or still or unglamorous, is doing quiet work in the background — shaping your resilience, sharpening your clarity, preparing you for the life you do want. Growth often feels like standing still before it looks like progress.' - Chat
I don't know how long I'm gonna have to be here before I could return home but I just hope it'll be waiting for me, like a white kingdom carved out of a brown mountain, facing a green field and a blue river.
Oh and before I go to sleep, there's another quote I'd like to share.
'I'm not everything I want to be yet, but I'm a lot of things I wanted to be two years ago, and what a wonderful thing it is to realise that.'
Goodnight.
