I actually wanted to post this the night before I came back here but I'm not sure, maybe I was overwhelmed by different emotions.
So, it's only been three days since I came back here and I'm already homesick. I miss my mum terribly. I'm scared if that was the last time I saw my mum and I'd never see her again. I wish more than anything to bring her here so I could look after her and I would be less worried about her but the situation at the moment just doesn't permit it. Sometimes I'm frustrated with the world, like, why? Why are you being so unfair to me?
When I came to work yesterday, no one asked me anything, not that I expected them to. Everyone probably thought I went back to my hometown to have fun but I went back so I could spend time with my mum because I don't know how much time is left. I always feel like I'm running outta time.
I can't describe how miserable I've been feeling for the past three days. I don't wanna go to work, I don't feeling going out and meeting people, I just wanna lock myself in my room until I'm ready to face the world again. Nothing excites me, I've got nothing to look forward to. I smile, make jokes and laugh but deep inside, only God knows how I truly feel. Sometimes I feel like screaming because I've had enough, I really do.
I'm just so tired. I just wanna sleep. I don't know how I'm gonna go on like this for God knows how many months or years.
