So, it's been a week since I moved in here and so far, I like it, I guess but we'll see how I'll feel about it after a month. There are definitely pros and cons, such as, the room's smaller, there's no dryer but the house's bigger, there's a kitchen. I'm still adjusting to the changes and it's gonna take sometime to really get used to the place. Do I feel better now? Maybe, just a bit, just because I no longer have to go to the LRT station where the incident took place. Having to go there almost every day was like having to relive the trauma again and again. Anyway, my housemate's rarely at home so I get the house all to myself and I'm not complaining. I do wish I had someone who I could talk to, cook with, eat with, watch TV with and so on.
Speaking of having someone I could talk to, I'm still reeling from the loss of my close friends. Although I'm hurt by them, I still miss them so much. I think of them almost every day. I wish I could see them at the shopping centres like we used to, talk to them, tell them everything that has happened in my life and I'd listen to their stories but as days go by, it feels more and more unlikely to happen again. I guess I haven't fully accepted the loss. I wish I could just text them and everything would be okay again. I wish it was that simple to reconcile but it's not. Losing them makes me even more lonely living in a big city. I've been trying to go on with my life without them but it's been so hard and I don't know if I'd ever find friends like them again.
Anyway, I cooked Chinese fried rice today (it was my first time cooking at a rental house) and I watched Cassie Thorpe on TV. I've said this before but I wish I was as rich as she is and I could get the things I want. With my current salary, I need to save for months before I could afford something luxurious and I'm only able to buy a few luxury items a year. Imagine if I'd earned at least RM5,000 a month, or RM7,500, or even better, RM10,000, I could tick off the items in my wish list one by one. Despite everything that's going on in my life, I still look forward to growing my collection. I can't wait to get my Balenciaga Part Time bag in vert d'eau restored, the vintage Fendi denim jacket in lime green, the Coach ringer T-shirt in white and red and so on.
