I've had an anger issue since I was at a tender age because of all the stuff that happened to me but when I was working in Cyber, I was told I was very calm, even in difficult situations. I myself could feel inside how calm I had become and I was proud of myself because I'd come a long way but ever since I moved to Kuala Lumpur, I feel like I'm becoming angry again. Not just angry but irritable, depressed and anxious too. I get irritated by small stuff, life seems bleak to me and I'm constantly thinking of what's gonna happen. It's hard for me to really rest and be at ease here. I've constantly gotta be on guard and it's tiring. I don't like the person I'm becoming.
I've mentioned this in my previous post but I used to look forward to my next luxury purchases. My Balenciaga Part Time bag in vert d'eau used to make me feel excited about life but now, I don't really feel anything. I still cherish all my luxury items and I'm thankful to have them because they mean a lot to me, they are what I wanted when I was younger but I couldn't afford them. I still wanna grow my collection because they're like trophies for my achievements.
I'm moving out tomorrow (my current place doesn't feel the same any more after the incident) and I wish I was moving to Cyber but sadly, I'm moving to somewhere nearby, just one station away. I've packed some of my belongings but I've got a long way to go and to be completely honest, mentally, I'm not here. Everything feels so heavy. I wish I had someone to help me and a car as well so I could do it at my own pace. Anyway, I don't know whether this move is gonna make me feel any better or worse but I'm only renting for six months before I've gotta make up my mind.
