You've probably known this but I can't deny it, I miss my life prior to moving to Kuala Lumpur. I feel like, despite my low salary, I lived sorta luxuriously. I could buy luxurious items three to four times a year and I went home every month by flight. Maybe it's because the cost of living in Cyber is lower than in Kuala Lumpur.
Now, although my salary is a bit higher (it's still low though), I can barely buy anything. I live from pay cheque to pay cheque, just trying to survive all by myself because I know my mum's not gonna be there for me for ever, someday, I'm gonna have to be able to stand on my own two feet and I don't know how I'm gonna do that.
I'm scared and what makes things worse is, houses here don't feel like home. They feel like halfway houses and you can't really rest at halfway houses. In contrast, my rental house in Cyber was warm, comfortable and safe and it felt like home to me. I really wish I hadn't moved here, if I'd known what I know now.
So, I'm planning to get a car, by the end of this year or sometime around next year, and move back to Cyber, even if I haven't got another job by then. I'd drive to Putrajaya Sentral, park my car there and take ERL to Kuala Lumpur. It's gonna cost a lot of money but I'd rather be broke but at peace than having money but being anxious.
PS I wouldn't say I've surrendered to fate but I feel like I'm less resisting some changes in my life now. I wouldn't say I'm starting to accept these changes either but some things are probably over and my life's probably never gonna be the same again and it's okay, I just go with the flow.
