So, I've got pharyngitis and conjunctivitis, and I've got a two-day medical leave which is nice because I get to rest and recover, but the recovery has been sort of a challenge. I think it started on my birthday or the day before, and it's been fluctuating ever since. There were nights I felt so cold I had to put on my sweater, long johns and thick socks, and I had to switch off the fan, and wrap myself in a duvet, and there were times I felt like I was getting better before feeling like I was gonna die. I don't know what's gonna happen to me. What I know for certain it's not the best way to start a new year.
Anyway, speaking of not knowing what's gonna happen to me, I've still been talking to the guy, but I don't know how long it's gonna last. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing him, and I don't know what to do. Like I've said before, I want us to be in some sort of an exclusive but not committed relationship, like, I don't want us to see other people, but at the same time, we don't have to talk to or meet each other every day. I do miss him a lot, and I do wanna see him again, but given my condition at the moment, it's not a good idea, even though we live in the same apartment building.
Also, ever since I've been talking to him, I've been thinking less of two of my close friends. I haven't fully moved on, but I'm not really waiting for them to come back any more. I miss them, but I've gotta keep going too, I can't wait for them for ever, I've got a life to live as well, and I'm sure they've moved on a long time ago, while I was picking up the pieces and reminiscing the good old days. If they do come back someday, I'll welcome them with open arms, but if they don't, then that's end of the friendship. It's hard, but I've done all I could, and I can't fix it if they don't want it to be fixed.
