It's been a while since the last time I posted here, and there have been lots of ups and downs since, but I don't really feel like going into the details.
What I can tell you is, during my trip to Johore last week, all I could think of was Shorty 2.0. I kept thinking of the strategy to attract him, I needed to take these pictures, I needed to take pictures like these, all the while avoiding his stories (he kept hopping from Instagram to WhatsApp to Telegram, it was like he was trying to get my attention because I hadn't been viewing his stories and I hadn't been speaking to him) which made it even more hard for me. Did I enjoy the trip? Yes, but not fully.
When I came home from the trip, I had a few dates in my mind, when to reach out to him, if he wasn't going to reach out to me first, either last Friday or next Friday, but shortly after I reached home, it started raining so heavily, and for some reason, it felt like the right moment to break the silence, after nine excruciating days. So, I texted him, 'hey, do you wanna meet up? It's okay if you're busy. Just haven't seen you in a while.' I expected him to reply the next day, or only reacted with a thumbs-up, but fifteen minutes later, he responded, in a friendly tone (he sounded relieved), surprisingly, after not speaking for nine days, 'I'll let you know when I'm free. I'm in the middle of moving to Bangsar.'
It felt good to be speaking to him again, but it broke my heart to realise he's actually moving out from our apartment building. I tried to rationalise it, it's good for him, he doesn't have to commute far and long, it's tiring, and I know it because I used to work in Bangsar, and maybe it's good for us too, distance makes the heart grow fonder, maybe he'd feel my absence and miss me, but I still wish he'd stay, I still wish he didn't have to go. Also, I know what's it like in Bangsar, and I'm worried about him. I'm worried he'd meet people who are a bad influence on him, and he'd lose himself.
At the same time, I've learnt my lesson, I can't control him, I mustn't, that's what pushed him away from me, so, I've gotta let him go, as much as it breaks my heart. So, I told him, 'take your time. Let me know if you need any help,' to which he said, 'sure.' That was three days ago, and I haven't heard from him. I've been waiting for him to text me, but there's only been silence, and it's frustrating. He hasn't posted any stories which he typically does, and I'm worried about him. I'm worried if something bad happened to him. I wish I could just reach out to him, but I don't want to push him.
I've sort of surrendered to the fact that I might not hear from him for sometime, for I don't know how long. My friendship with Shorty 2.0 is probably one of the hardest friendships I've ever had to navigate. One moment, I thought I've figured him out, but the next, I realised there are so many more things I don't know about him. Maybe I'm a fool for choosing to stay, but I'd rather be a fool than regretting giving up on this. I just hope he'll be alright, and he'll come back to me in the end, and in the meantime, I'll keep praying for him. O Allah, please protect him, take care of him, and watch over him.
