Actually, hari Khamis minggu lepas, aku balik hometown aku sebab aku homesick gila nak mampus. It feels good to be with my mum, to be home even though I feel bad about having to buy the flight tickets with my mum's money but now I'm going back there sebab esok aku dah nak mula kerja dekat tempat baru tu. To be completely honest, I feel awful about leaving my mum and starting this new job, I feel sick to my stomach, I feel dizzy, I feel like throwing up. I'm constantly worried about her and I'm extremely nervous going this place. Kalau ikut hati, aku rasa macam nak tidur je dan aku nak work from home je supaya aku tak perlu pergi mana - mana, aku boleh bersama dengan mak aku.
Tapi, aku tak de pilihan. Bak kata colleague lama aku, no choice. No matter how awful I feel, I've still gotta leave my mum and go to work. I feel like crying while writing this. Maybe, it'd get better in time, inshallah, when I've made friends and get acquainted with the surroundings. Being an adult sucks sometimes, or most of the time. Yes, you get money (but you've gotta work hard for it of course) which you can use to buy things that otherwise you can't own, you get to be "independent" but you've gotta deal with stuff on your own. You can't run from it and let someone else take care of it while you hide and rest, you don't even get time to recover, you've just gotta face it, like it or not. No one's gonna hold your hand and keep you company all the time and it can be very daunting and lonely.
