Have you ever been surrounded by people you know but you still felt like you're all alone?
That's how I felt today, at work, and I feel guilty for feeling that way.
I've been struggling to adjust to my new workplace, and I know it's not my fault, or anyone's fault either, I just don't really fit in here. There are people who I get on with, but there's no one I can really call a friend. So, sometimes, the interactions feel, fake and forced.
I think it might hurt my co-workers' feelings if they find out I've been feeling this way, or maybe they've been feeling the same way with me, I don't know but I think, if I'm leaving this place one day, I'm not gonna regret it. I might miss some parts of it but that's it.
It's hard to be somewhere, almost every day, and feel like, there's no one who you can really talk to and get you. It's such a lonely experience. It's a torture no one can see but only you can feel it and you've gotta go on, pretending like you're fine when you're not.
I don't know how long I'm gonna have to stay here but I hope, someday, when I get another job, I'll never have to go through this, ever again.
PS I just wanna stress again that if you've a got mental disorder like I do (in my case, it's depression and anxiety), don't come and live and work in Kuala Lumpur, it's gonna make your mental disorder worse. It's not for people like us.
