So, I got home last night, at last, after nearly seven, tormenting hours on the bus, because I kept thinking of Shorty 2.0 but I didn't wanna reply his text since I was still so angry with him. In fact, I planned not to respond at all until he sends me, 'selamat hari raya, maaf zahir & batin,' which I'd consider giving a response to.
Today, I waited, and I waited, for hours, but I didn't hear anything from him. Then, I remembered my mum's advice: be the bigger person, text him, it doesn't cost anything, it's gonna make me feel better. So, that's what I did. I told him, 'selamat hari raya, maaf zahir & batin, Shorty 2.0. I hope you & your family are safe and healthy, and having a good time.'
About twenty minutes later, he gave me a reply, 'thank you. Selamat hari raya to you too, Blue,' to which I said, 'thank you.' It did me feel a bit better even though I'm still missing him but now my plan is to not contact him at all until he reaches out to me first, and even if he does, I'll keep him at a distance from now on until he proves me that he's changed.
I don't know if he'd ever change and fulfill me emotionally, but, what I've learnt is, I can't hold him down, I've gotta let him go, let him fly, and let him learn and see the truth for himself: there's no one else like me. I don't know if he ever would, but I hope he will, and I hope he'll come back some day, a changed and better person. For now, I can miss him without talking to him.
