Semalam, aku dapat mimpi Duck datang selamatkan aku. Dalam mimpi tu, dia jumpa aku, dia terus peluk aku macam dia tak nak lepas aku dan aku rasa selamat. Aku jarang mimpi pasal dia. Mungkin sebab aku rindu dia. Aku tak bagi tahu dia lagi pasal ni. Nantilah aku bagi tahu dia bila aku free. Just so you know, aku tak ada apa - apa dengan dia, aku cuma anggap dia macam abang aku.
Anyway, hari ni, aku keluar dengan kawan - kawan lama aku. Setengah hari jugalah kitaorang keluar. Aku malas nak cerita apa kitaorang buat (hint: I paid my alma mater an impromptu visit), nantilah aku cerita kalau aku ada mood sebab sekarang aku kena study untuk quiz esok but needless to say, I surprisingly had a good time walaupun aku penat.
Aku cuma nak cerita, masa kawan aku nak hantar aku balik tadi, aku bagi tahu dekat dia pasal Tally. Aku tak bagi tahulah dia (not just her but everyone, including my mum) yang aku sebenarnya aku sangat terkesan dengan apa yang terjadi between me and Tally sampai aku hilang semangat nak belajar and she said something that made me feel better.
Dia kata dekat aku, 'kau tak buat salah apa, what you did (tegur Tally) is normal, dia (Tally) yang tak matang.' The reason her words made me feel better is ever since Tally disappeared, I'd been having self-doubts. I questioned myself, my actions, my sanity. I was like, 'is this normal or have I gone mad?' Seriously, aku ingat aku dah jadi gila.
So, bila dia kata macam tu dekat aku, aku rasa validated. Aku rasa macam, there's nothing wrong with me and it's fair for me to feel blindsided by the whole because I didn't see this coming at all, I thought when I talked to him, we' d go out for dinner or a walk. Instead, he did a Houdini. I think, some, if not most, people would react positively if I approach them.
Okay lah, aku dah nak study lepas aku nak tidur. Goodnight.
